A Letter to the Mardi Gras Fairy

Dear Mardi Gras Fairy,

I would really like a few things for Mardi Gras this year, as I have been a very good fiddle player and tried not to poke drunk people with my bow, even if they really deserved it.

#1, I would like an invisible bubble shield to deflect beads, coins, garters, and panties that might come flying in my direction and hit me in the head like they did last night. (At least it was my head and not my fiddle. Be grateful for small favors, I suppose.)

#2, I would like a big sign that states, "The fiddle player cannot accept more beads once both her arms and all of her belt loops are at capacity. No, she cannot put them around her neck as the beads will damage her fiddle. If her arms are COMPLETELY COVERED in beads, they are indeed at capacity! Also, her husband does not appreciate you putting a garter on her leg and trying to cop a feel. Thank you."

#3, I would like a very large, well muscled man named Skippy to hold said sign and enforce it when needed.

That should about do it for this year.

Thanks,
Sarah